To the editor:
Your Butt Patrol is on duty.
Is it my imagination or are there fewer butts? Thank you to the Butt Pickers of America.
Here a butt, there a butt, everywhere a butt, butt. But Old McDonald must have picked up his butts.
There is a prophecy that says all butts will be either picked up or burned up. There will be no more smoke, or pain or death.
The air will be fresh and the butts will be gone. Forever!